REALIZE

Okay, there have been some important questions that I have been asking myself lately from parenting to the rest of the future. Sometimes a break from our day to day lives helps us from realizing whether we are doing the things we do for the right reasons. These last two months has made me want to ask whether I am doing these for the right reasons. I know that I have placed much faith in a lot of people, and I have been told by my parents that it is okay if I let them down.

Though life does takes turns on us, it is really up to us to make that decision to stick to our plans to see whether the road that lies ahead is really real. I will try my best, for everyone that has placed their faith in me, to achieve my goals in life.

Upon coming to BYU - Idaho, I was seeking answers, and for the first time in life do I feel peaceful with myself with the answers that I have attained. My bishops have reminded me time and time again with this saying - "Tee-J, it sounds like you know what you are doing all that lacks from you is the faith."

I have reflected upon those immortal words over and over again. Truly, what does lack in me is the faith to keep going because I fear what I might discover. Could I possibly contribute towards something good towards this world? I fear that I will fail. However, I keep reminding myself that I can not fail if I had not even tried. As the reader, one might note the internal struggle that I face with myself these last few weeks.

As promised, I will do within my power to make my dreams come true. Lately, the first draft of my book is finished - all that remains is the research. I will continue to apply for jobs until this December. My goal is to apply to two jobs every day until the end of December. I have calculated that to be at least 230 job applications. If somewhere along the road that I don't receive any job offers within the next 6 months I am thinking of enlisting in one of the armed forces to make sure that I can keep meeting my deadlines. It is better for me to keep moving rather than staying stagnant.

As I live this life day in day out, I realize that this in just part of my life. This is my life. I realize that it takes passion to do better. Realization of passion is the first step towards success.